No way to spin it anymore. No more jokes to be made. No need to say we're unflappable. The picks are garbage. Not hot garbage. Lukewarm ... room temperature... low-budget rubbage. The approach remains the same though. Why, you ask? It's a reasonable question. Because this is all I know -- it's the life I chose. We will go down swinging with the 'dogs. Couple of bowl games first.
Odds by ESPN BET
Bowl picks
James Madison Dukes (-2, 40.5) vs. Air Force Falcons
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl: Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET on ESPN/ESPN+, Amon G. Carter Stadium, Fort Worth, Texas
Van Pelt's pick: Air Force +2
We are taking Air Force over James Madison in the Armed Forces Bowl. Hello ... it's a bowl for armed forces, and JMU ISN'T. How difficult is this?
SVP: 10-8-1 all time when taking a service academy vs. a non-service academy
Kansas Jayhawks (-12.5, 64.5) vs. UNLV Rebels
Guaranteed Rate Bowl: Tuesday, 9 p.m. ET on ESPN/ESPN+, Chase Field, Phoenix
Van Pelt's pick: UNLV +12.5
We will also take UNLV plus the points over Kansas in the Guaranteed Rate Bowl the day after Christmas. Vegas has taken me all season; I'm taking them in this one.
SVP: 17-10-1 all time when taking underdogs in bowl games
Saturday's NFL picks
Cincinnati Bengals (-2, 38.5) at Pittsburgh Steelers
4:30 p.m. ET, Acrisure Stadium, Pittsburgh
Van Pelt's pick: Steelers +2
Now let's really get in the gutter. Took the Steelers last week -- that was NOT right. They're on to QB No. 3 and hosting Cincinnati on Saturday. Steelers here -- somehow.
SVP: 1-7 all time when picking AFC North divisional matchups (on a one-game winning streak!)
Buffalo Bills (-12, 43.5) at Los Angeles Chargers
8 p.m. ET, SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, California
Van Pelt's pick: Chargers +12
Now in the GPG (General Principle Game) ... the L.A. Chargers. How can you take a team last seen surrendering 63 and getting their coach and GM fired? How can you not, is the answer. Buffalo is my favorite team this season -- I've made that clear. I can't quit the Bills. They might win by 40. But if there is an ounce of competitive pride in the home team, they show some fight. If they don't, well, you just heckle me. It's fine.
SVP: 4-3 all time when taking NFL underdog by at least 12 points
Sunday's NFL pick
Seattle Seahawks (-2, 41.5) at Tennessee Titans
1 p.m. ET, Nissan Stadium, Nashville, Tennessee
Van Pelt's pick: Titans +2
The terrifying thing is how many truly awful sides I like, but I'm not going to give them all out here. Why would you play them anyway? But I will give one more -- and it's Tennessee. Scott, do you know who is QBing Seattle? I do not. How about Tennessee? Nope, not them either. Doesn't matter. Sometimes you just see a spot, like when everyone took Philly on "Monday Night Countdown" and your boy said -- "nope, Seattle." Same thing here.
SVP: 4-4 all time when picking games played on Christmas Eve
Clarity. From a man whose picks are sinking to the bottom of the ocean like a rock. Merry Christmas, everybody. There they are.