JERSEY CITY, N.J. -- Stick a fork in this one. Stop the fight. Tell the fat lady to warm up her vocal cords.
Even before this week, the United States already owned a winning overall record at the Presidents Cup with a mark of 9-1-1 -- the same number the International team should consider calling for help.
Through two sessions here at Liberty National, the guys in red, white and blue lead by a seemingly insurmountable score of 8-2. It's the largest differential entering the weekend in the competition's history. Ten of the 12 American players haven't lost a match. There's even a chance they could clinch the victory before Sunday, which means they could all spend the day watching NFL games on their private ferry, then return to port for the trophy ceremony.
Jordan Spieth and Patrick Reed have so far proven to be unbeatable as a duo again. Rickie Fowler and Justin Thomas seem like the next long-term twosome. Phil Mickelson is Three Amigos-dancing his way to victory. Even Charley Hoffman and Kevin Chappell, the two forgotten men who didn't play Thursday, jumped into the lineup and triumphed by a 6 and 5 score.
This utter domination is enough to leave fans thinking of ways to fix the Presidents Cup before this one is even officially over.
The powers that be could open the International team to Europe, as well, though such a maneuver would clearly step on the Ryder Cup's pointed toes.
They could cut down on the number of players on each roster, essentially trimming the International fat, but that would hardly solve any issue this week.
They could integrate female golfers into the festivities, with teams featuring a mix of both genders, however that would alter the entire dynamic of the event.
Or they could just scrap it altogether, a contrived idea that yielded predictable results.
Don't count on it.
The Presidents Cup is one of the PGA Tour's babies. Unlike its Ryder Cup cousin, which is owned and operated by the PGA of America and the European Tour, this one is fully organized by the PGA Tour, one reason alone that it isn't going anywhere for a while -- and won't be considered for some type of annual winner-stays-on round-robin with the Ryder Cup.
As for changes, well, don't exactly hold your breath for those, either.
If history is to repeat itself, we'll have another two decades of lopsided outcomes before significant changes are made to the competition.
Believe it or not, the Ryder Cup wasn't always so fraught with tension. It wasn't always a close contest that came down to the final matches. It wasn't always, you know, entertaining.
Over the first 22 editions of that event, the United States posted a 19-3 record. It wasn't until 1979, largely at the behest of Jack Nicklaus, who had witnessed too many drubbings with his own eyes, that the Ryder Cup changed. That year, it transformed from the 12 best players in Great Britain and Ireland to the 12 best from all of Europe.
Suddenly, the likes of Seve Ballesteros were allowed to qualify for the newly constructed European team. It took four more attempts before the Europeans finally won, but once they did, in 1985, a juggernaut was launched.
Europe won each of the next three, five of the next seven, eight of the next 11 and 11 of the next 14 -- thanks in large part to players such as Ballesteros, Jose Maria Olazabal, Bernhard Langer and Sergio Garcia, golfers who wouldn't even have been eligible during the initial incarnation of the event.
All of which leads us back to the Presidents Cup.
In historical terms, this week's result isn't unlike that of the early days of the Ryder Cup, when legends like Gene Sarazen and Walter Hagen -- or, later, Sam Snead and Jimmy Demaret -- would dutifully beat up on a bunch of guys named Alf. (No joke. Alf Padgham and Alf Perry each played on three GB&I teams.)
We're 12 matches into the Presidents Cup. The Ryder Cup didn't change until after the 22nd. Do the math.
What will those changes include if -- or perhaps when -- they are finally instituted? That's a fair question, but an impossible one to answer. Hell, 20 years from now, the Internationals could become the Intergalactics, assisted by a few smooth-swinging Martians to finally even things out.
Until then, the team will keep plugging away.
As captain Nick Price glumly stated Friday evening, "The guys are trying. That's all I can say. They are trying their tails off. They are just not making enough putts. Maybe not enough birdies."
That postmortem doesn't only explain a four-ball session in which the Internationals claimed a half-point in five matches, it could describe much of the past 23 years of futility in this event.
Granted, two years ago in South Korea, the final result was in doubt until the very end. And granted, this thing isn't officially over yet. In theory, the Internationals could bounce right back Saturday, exposing all of the old takes at the beginning of this column.
So far, though, it has been a lopsided affair. Enough that many have viewed the Presidents Cup through a prism of "what's wrong" rather than "what's right" about it.
That will change someday. Either the cyclical nature of the game will level the playing field or alterations will be made to the event that will ensure it.
For now, the rout is on. Somebody alert the fat lady.